Oh Sophia, you so crazy...
Picture it, August 2011, you're wearing a pair of pink trimmed Asics 2160's and you have not logged a single running mile in over 5 months.
Are you still a runner?
This thought, and so many others are swirling through my head these days. You can hardly blame me, I've been sitting here on the sidelines watching the weather turn from Winter to Spring to Summer and y'all run, race, come and go from the injury list, complain about the weather, your paces, etc... Some days it can get very overwhelming, this situation I find myself stuck in. And that is exactly how I feel right now, stuck. I haven't run in over 5 months and I have no idea when I will finally be able to again. I've done every single thing I've been told to do and yet, no one can tell me why I'm STILL not healed or what to do to help it along.
It's frustrating. It's disheartening.
Can you even imagine being in my pink trimmed Asics 2160's?
What would you do? Seriously, I want to know what you would do?
Would you seek a second opinion? (Mind you I'm working with a top specialist from MSU sports)
Would you volunteer for amputation?
I'm kind of at my wits end here. Last week after discussing with my PT that the pain I'd been experiencing since Florida hadn't gone away he suggested I take this week off from xtraining to see if it makes a difference. This made me realize that at this point I'm essentially paying him $100 a visit to watch me do strengthening exercises I know by heart because he can't progress me up the ladder. With this realization I decided it was financially stupid to continue on at PT until I was able to progress and wouldn't you know he agreed with me when we discussed the matter on Monday. So I will return for a final visit this Friday to get a maintenance plan to adhere to until my leg finally heals. In the meantime I'm supposed to keep them apprised of any developments and also how the phone call with my doctor goes on Monday. This phone call, by the way, seems absolutely pointless to me. After getting the CT scan results back and finding out that there is still a fracture line showing in my leg all my doctor can say is, "Take two weeks and call me on August 22nd." I find it hard to believe that I'm going to call him on Monday and he's going to know whether or not my leg is healed. I know these things take time but damn it all, over 5 months?!?!?
So again I ask, dear readers, what would you do if you were in my pink trimmed Asics 2160's?
50 comments:
Maybe it is time for a second opinion. I have no idea what I'd do in your place, but something definitely isn't working. :(
this just sucks...
I know for my hubs, we went through a ton ....and spent a lot of $$ on physio, acupuncture, rolfing treatments, had CTs, ultrasound etc until he finally got in for an MRI which they came back in 2 days to tell us he had a tear in his hip cartilage and all that will fix it is surgery.
I won't even say to hang tough as you have been doing that and I would probably have gone off the deep end at this point.
You know what I DID in your place? I didn't listen. I was told not to run with a torn ACL...I ace bandaged that sucker up and ran, anyway. I was told to wait 3-4 months to run on my repaired ACL....I ran an 8k 4 weeks later. I know I am going against everything anyone else believes in but...is it possible? Can you try to run through this? Can you bandage yourself up and "take it slow", while doing your PT exercises? Have you seen an acupunturist? I am wondering if alternative is the best way to go, at this point...? Keep your chin up, girl. Every runner I know has seasons that are set backs. This is yours. Love you, Lainie
This just plain sucks. No sugar coating this situation.
My heart goes out to you because I was sidelined and could not run for 7 months last year. I was a mental wreck. Swimming and hiking helped keep me somewhat sane, but it's just not running ya know? What about meeting with a health specialist who can refer a bone density scan and give you expert advice on the stuff that a physical therapist cannot? You've done everything you can to strengthen musculoskeletal needs, seems like maybe a second opinion from a different medical perspective might be helpful?
Sending you lots of love, xoxo!
First thing I'd do is wonder how I got my size 14s in your shoes...
Then, I'd seek the 2nd opinion of someone that has a proactive, investigative approach with possibly a research background -- university based, perhaps.
While my medical situation is nothing like yours, I was with the "best" in the league and he gave me nothing. I had to find someone with fresh ideas.
Whatever you do, I wish you much healing and health. - J
I do not even want to imagine what it would be like to be in your pink trimmed Asics 2160's.
I think it's time for a 2nd opinion.
Second opinion time?
The unfortunate thing is that its not like there are a TON of alternatives when you've got a fracture. BUT as far as the PT, it may be worth looking into ART or an alternative treatment to see how else you can help along the issue. If they're not helping you, its possible someone else might.
Hang in there.
And the Golden Girls reference made my day.
It seems that a second opinion is popular and I agree with that. However, I think you need to find out why it isn't healing and if it's something they just missed the first go round OR is it something that is just not healing.
You know, I wish that I could and would do ANYTHING to make it all better.
First of all, I know I can't say that I know what you're going through. But I can say that you should take those pretty pink trimmed Asics and take a walk around the block or two. Keep trying to do the other things that make you feel calm and happy. And maybe try out some yoga/pilates classes when the bod is feeling up to it. Keep up the strengthening. It will come slowly but surely.
I would probably kick and scream and cry. I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes right now and I sure wish YOU didn't have to know either. It's not freaking far, but I know we have gone over this already.
I would maybe hope and pray and wish that the light at the end of the tunnel would FINALLY start getting bigger and that you will come out the other side stronger and more determined than ever before. That's what I am hoping and wishing and praying for you now and I wish I could do more!
I'm going to sound like an echo here, but I'd go with a second opinion. Plain and simple. Perhaps another set of eyes, another viewpoint, another experience might be what you need to get this figured out.
I'm with the majority on this one and say you should get a second opinion.
I just wanted to thank you for still stopping by my blog and making comments. I know it is difficult to read about other people running when you've been on the shelf for so long. I really appreciate that you still take time to read and comment! It means a great deal to me. Thanks!
So frustrating! I am always sad after I read your updates because I know how hard this must for you. I don't see how it could hurt to get a second opinion. Maybe someone new will have a different perspective and suggest something just might work for you.
I don't have anything to offer over what everyone else suggested but wanted to let you know that you're in my thoughts. I'm training for my first marathon and whenever I start to feel tired during a run I think of how you can't run so I should be thankful and just keep on trucking. I doubt that helps but I wanted to let you know.
I'm with the second opinion too but the next question is where you should obtain the 2nd opinion. Are you with Mid-Michigan Ortho right now? I had an excellent experience there. Or are you seeing MSU docs on campus? Have you researched any possibilities at U of M? I have had excellent care at U of M for a variety of issues.
I would certainly be wearing those babies around the house! You are still a runner, just on sabbatical.
I hope you find a solution or at least more answers, I can't imagine your frustration by this point.
Lady, my heart really goes out to you. I don't even want to imagine what your shoes feel like right now. Honestly, I think a second opinion might be worth it. I agree with the ideas of going to someone who can check your bones and find out why they aren't healing properly.
In the meantime, I am sending you hugs and lots of positive vibes!
YES. You ARE a runner. Not were, ARE.
I believe that a second opinion is very necessary at this point. Stress fractures are not unusual for runners, but 5 months and still recovering... Something is missing in your diagnosis and I know if it were me I'd need some peace of mind, and it definitely doesn't seem like you are getting that now.
Best of luck and I wish you happy, painfree running very soon!
You are definitely still a runner!
When I went to many doctors and no one could tell me what was wrong my current PT and ART person were able to figure it out. Don't know if they can solve your problem or if I just got lucky..but when you are in NYC let me know if you want to try to see them. They have worked with many good athletes...perhaps all you need is to get lucky with someone seeing something that no one noticed before.
These things take time and it may not be that you've been misdiagnosed. I've been injured for 1.5 years and it's as simple as a hamstring tendon tear (and lots of imbalances!). But I was told that healing will take time and to go slow if I didn't want to relapse. So hang in there!
Felt like that deserved it's own comment....
If I were in pink shoes, I'd put the paper bag back on my head so no one knew who I was (totally kidding, I'd take pictures and post them on my blog)
I think that from the outside looking in, a second opinion is probably the "easy" answer. I actually agree with you that the bigger question might be more about the WHY. There is an answer to how you can get fixed - stop doing everything for a year. I'll fix itself (probably - at least now that you are showing healing). But, if you don't fix the WHY, it is just going to happen again. Right?
So, to answer the question: I have no idea what I would do if I were in your position. I'd complain about it a lot more than you do, for sure. I'd probably see if there were any MSU hormonies doctors to see if that was it (you did blood testing, right?). Maybe look at one of those vibrating machine dealies or electro therapy. Hang in there though. there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it just looks like a reflection.
Second opinion if affordable.. have you tried to run? I mean like walk run 5 mins. What kind of pain do you have??
I know exactly how you feel. I'm getting my THIRD opinion next month (have to wait for an insurance change) - and while I've often thought that my situation would have been better if I'd just broken the dang bone instead of bruising it, seeing how long it's taking you to heal has me doubting that "wisdom" - I don't know, maybe you and I are just extra special when it comes to injuries. It completely sucks, though, this whole stupid waiting game.
Get the second opinion. But do some research and see if you can find a miracle worker. Then give me his(or her) name, lol!
I wish I had an answer for you! You've been so patient and strong throughout this experience. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and hoping that each day you're slowly getting better, whether you realize it or not.
First I wish I could do or say something that would actually help.
Secondly, as I am dealing with my sore left thigh and a dr who says there is nothing wrong "ibuprohen and heat." You saga makes me take it easier over the past few weeks. I know it doesn't help you to know that what you are dealing with and sharing might be helping others (me) to make smarter decisions but it does help those around you. Runners don't always think clearly when it comes to injury or injury avoidance.
I would like to add that I think you might need a fresh pair of eyes on your situation. The issue of delayed healing would cause me to seek another solution because running might not be the problem. I pray that you find an answer that you can handle and the courage to listen. You are far stronger than I am!
I think it's second opinion time too. Top specialist or not. I think a pair of fresh eyes on all your records could help - it certainly can't hurt.
If the scans still show "bad spots" and it still hurts sometimes, I don't know that I'd go for a second opinion. Would be ok if you did go for one though of course. I certainly hear your frustration! I can't imagine waiting and waiting only to essentially be in the same spot you were 5 months ago.
Reading these other comments - trying a different *kind* of doctor is def a good idea I think.
As I wish there were such a thing as a skin transplant for myself, I would also consider the amputation in your case.
I honestly don't know what I would do. I WOULD stop going to PT, which you've done (I have, at least, had to make that decision before). Beyond that, I don't know. I would feel the frustration you feel watching the running world carry on and complain at things you would trade almost anything for. I wish to hell I'd not complained about Cleveland, but at the time I didn't get it. But you ARE a runner, and you will be as long as you believe that you are in your heart a runner.
Even though I am just at the beginnings of any injury, I have been in the shittiest mood all day. Why? Because I am seeing doomsday scenarios in my head about not being able to run. *shut up brain!*
I can't imagine how bad it has been for you over the past 5 months! Hang in there! I am pulling for ya!
*virtual hug*
2nd opinion!! Seriously. 5 months is too long.
Unlike most comments, I'm not sure a second opinion would do a lot of good, unless you think the CT scan was done incorrectly. But when I had my tibial stress fracture last year, my research told me that a second scan wouldn't necessarily be accurate, because a recently healed spot would still show up faintly for a long time.
Have you tried walking with a very brief jog? I tried that a couple times along my way to recovery, because I had no other real way of knowing whether I was healed.
AND, when I did timidly (yes, I was scared to death) return to running, I had what I called "twinges" for a while. It wasn't quite pain, but I was aware of my leg. However, I knew I was going to be accutely aware of everything in my leg, so I'd be blowing things out of proportion. There's a difference between a twinge of awareness and actual pain, and I gradually realized that I wasn't actually in pain. I kept the pace very slow, and I walked more than I ran -- using the walking time to assess how I actually felt.
Hang in there -- you've got the redhead determination (yep, stereotyping, but I'm allowed to!), so you WILL get through this.
While I may not be wearing your pink trimmed Asics 2160 sneaks (instead wearing red trimmed New Balance 890 sneaks), I've been in your shoes since basically you first got injured. Granted we have different injuries (I have runner knee and IT band syndrome), and you have a stress fracture.
Both of Adam's comments ring the truest to me, you ARE a runner!
I might be in the minority here, but not sure that I would get a second opinion yet. Bones can take a long time to heal - not sure if you follow Ms. Zippy, but she has had 2 stress fractures I think, and the recovery times have been long I think. You might want to ask her about her thoughts.
If your bone still isn't healed in like a month or so, then maybe look into getting a second opinion. It seems like you are dealing with pretty good experts. But a 2nd set of eyes can't hurt.
I agree that it's a good idea to stop the PT until your bone starts to progress.
I'm sort of in your same boat with PT, my PT person told me to not come back to her if my injury doesn't get better in a while (and to see my orthopedic sports doctor again for a follow up visit). I last went to PT on 7/20, and I've just been doing my rehab exercises at home as often as I can. I'm not sure what I'm going to do next, I'm at a crossroads - I might see my sports doctor if I don't feel better in a while.
I'll also add that my situation is a little different from yours, I can now do some activities that I wasn't able to before (bowling at least), so I'm not going as crazy as I was a month ago. All I'm missing out on now is running and soccer - so I feel somewhat normal now. I know that you likely can't do much besides your rehab exercises right now.
And I'm not sure if this is good advice or not, but recently I've just started to distance myself mentally from running and things like that. I'm not sure if I'm at peace or what, but recently it hasn't bothered me as much not being able to run (maybe it's because I've been making some slow progress recently? Not sure on that.) I still enjoy following running blogs and hearing about other people's races and successes. It's almost like I'm a stranger to running now, and I can deal with it better that way.
Anyways, I rambled a lot, keep your head up!
Well since you asked....and seeing as others are bringing up the natural route, I will too. How is your calcium intake? I would supplement like mad with calcium and make sure you get lots of sun for the vitamin D. These work together to aid in bone strengthening and healing. I would also attempt taking MSM and Glucosimine (sp?). The aids in cartilage repair and general overall bone repair. As a topical agent, I would try DMSO. I used this for my shinsplints/hairline fracture and it was quite miraculous. Here is just one of the links ab't the product. There are several: http://www.thewayup.com/products/0270.cfm
I can fully empathize with you, Red. The difference is that you haven't hung you head in deafeat like I did. I was too terrified to go through it all over again so I took 3 years off. Even now as I run, I am so cautious and terrified at every little pang, twinge or beginning of something feeling "off". You amaze me with your tenacity towards getting back on the road. That is definitely the word that describes you. I pray this part of your journey is over soon. You're an amazing, tenacious inspiration!
First of all, yes, you are a runner! Running comes from your heart and your soul and is about 85% mental so there is no doubt that you are a runner!!! I can say what I would do...... cry!! Which I am sure that you have.... I know EXACTLY how you feel because I literally did not log one step of running from October of 2009 till July of 2010......9 MONTHS and let me tell you something, it was pure hell!! And I am back up to 5 whole miles as my long run which has taken me from July 2010 till July 2011 to get to...granted I was in rehab and taking it VERY slowly!! And to top it off, I went back last week for another MRI on my right shoulder which has been killing me since my last week of PT ( 1 1/2 years ago) because I think I reinjured it in a diffrent place during the shoulder PT after surgery.... I will find out if I have to have another shoulder surgery tomorrow.... I can't even tell you the emotion and frustration behind even thinking about going through surgery again.....which would mean no running again for months..... so I know that you are very frustrated but you have to do what is best for your body and even if it takes a year to heal and that means 7 more months of no running......you will still be a runner in 7 months and you will get back to your redheaded running groove...I promise..... in the meantime, you can call me to vent because I might vent right back! I miss you girl and I am soooooo sorry this is happening to you!!!
Hey, you're getting a bionic leg - woot!
Has anyone mentioned the use of a bone growth stimulator? They help heal problematic fractures by getting osteoblasts in your bones (which promote healing) excited, which in turn helps heal your bone. They have pretty good success rates. It might be something just to look into. Essentially, they "kickstart" a bone to start healing again.
A CMF unit by DJO Global is one I have heard of used the most. Here is the website http://apps.djoglobal.com/bonestim/.
Just a thought to try and help out a fellow runner!
Definitely a second or third opinion. I saw several doctors before finally getting some information that was useful. I too got tired of paying for endless appointments that got me nowhere.
And yes, you are still a runner, so keep wearing your pink trimmed Asics!
(I wore brand new running capris and ordered new trail shoes while injured. Just made me feel better.)
You need to ditch the MSU doctor. That's your problem. You need to seek a UofM doctor and all will be better.
Just kidding :o) (hope that made you smile)
I agree you need to get a second opinion as to WHY you are not getting better. There must be some underlying cause that has not been addressed. It has just been too long to not heal, especially since you have done everything correctly. Are you taking Calcium with Vit D? What do you take with it if you do? How much do you take? Do you taking anything to reduce stomach acid like Prilosec? Have you had your Magnesium levels checked? Do you take a Multivitamin? Sorry to go all pharmacist on ya but I am just trying to think of drug stuff.
You ARE and always will be a runner!
I would ask for a second opinion...maybe it just needs a second pair of eyes. BUT DARN IT!!! THAT SUCKS!!!!
I would:
1. Seek the second opinion (for your own peace of mind)
2. Make peace with this whole situation (for your own peace of mind)
3. Lean on the big guy you hang out with (because that's what relationships are for, and one day he will need you just as much)
4. Know that this will end one day. And find the peace in the ending, whatever it might be.
And yes, you still are a runner. Whether you know it or not.
2nd opinion.
2 eyes are better than one.
hang in there--- im sure your sick of hearing about it! :) come meet me for dinner- i could use a de stresser and so could you!
A second opinion can't hurt. I think you should go for it!
Have you upped your calcium intake? When Karl got a stress fracture, he pretty much started taking supplements and anything else that was supposed to be bone strengthening. Also, none of my business, but make sure you're getting your period. It seems like a lot of bloggers these days lose their period when they start running and eating less, and that has a huge effect on bone mass (hungry runner girl actually wrote something about it after her stress fracture, when she hadn't gotten her period in a while, and how it was all related with loss of bone mass when your period stops due to less body fat).
1. You ARE a RUNNER. One stupid goddamned leg isn't going to change what's in your heart. (sorry, your leg deserves a few bad words.)
2. I think you should wear those pink Asics as much as you please because they are likely good for your feet / body, comfortable, and you make them look really really good.
3. It's probably Michigan's fault. Am I the only one that sees the correlation with the injury and your lack of exposure to wonderful sunshine? (joking of course - schmoopy creates it's own balance of sunshine.)
4. I'd honestly be really frustrated and at this point would have turned into a giant fat lazy ball of crying flub. [Seriously, I became super lazy and gained almost 10 pounds after my stupid little achilles injury. Lame.] You've stuck with this and given it everything you have for so long. You're much stronger and more determined than I am.
I know everyone is saying second opinion, but you've also had lots of opinions. I say this is totally up to you and your heart on having someone else look at it. [I'd cut out paying for the PT, at least for a while if you feel you want to go in for a check in after a bit.] At this point, you know when you're in pain and you're not just going to jump in willy nilly the moment you 'think' that you're better. If it will help your peace of mind to have someone else look at it, go for it. If it helps you to cut expenses for right now, cut out some of that stress, and lose some of the repeated bad news, do that. You said that there are slow signs of healing, and you can listen to your body as you need to - it seems like right now you're just paying to have people tell you what you know.
5. Be sure Spike gives you an extra special schmoopy hug from all of us who can't. You break my heart, girly, and I really wish that I could make it so much better for you.
You're still a runner, because you can't stop thinking about it. We're only training and complaining about weather and our paces because we know eventually you'll be back and will be gunning for us.
Girl, how I'd wish I could get my hands on some kind of magic pill to make this all go away within minutes. :(
I second the Second Opinion. Seriously, it seams like you need a fresh pair of eyes to look into this.
I'll shoot you an email on you redheadrunning account!
I would research the heck out of these type of fractures. I'm doing the same thing for my Achilles and found there are specialists using musculoskeletal ultrasound for imaging diseased tendons. I'm definitely having a third opinion before anyone filets my heel open.
Red is there a major research hospital near you?. This is exactly why I'm getting my second Orthopedist opinion through Emory Healthcare as Research hospitals have specialists more up to date on new trends.
Best of luck... P/T for the last two months hasn't done a darn thing for me either and neither has das boot.
Ranger.
I think some alternative care is in order here. Biologically, you should have healed by now so something is at play that isn't being seen. So either grab a second opinion or go for alternative care. Even the "experts" can be off, trust me.
I know this doesn't completely relate but I had the best, expert dermatologist working on my hand rash years ago. It persisted for over a year and essentially, I felt like my hand was constantly rotting away. It hurt so bad. He blamed the salt water at my job. I took two weeks off to visit family and it got worse (note, no salt water now). SO I went to an acupunturist. She gave me treatment that included acupuncture, bug juice (yes, I drank nasty stuff...don't ask), and told me to cut red meat out of my diet. My hand got back to almost normal. There was a tiny hit of the redness left so she adviced going to the traditional doctor now for the final fix. (She believed in combining eastern/western medicine.) I had a lingering staph infection and got antibiotics. I am fixed and essentially no problems since and NO SCARRING! Amazing!
My point is, there is a cure for you. You can run again. You just need to take control of your treatment (like you are doing) and find it!
Honestly I really have no idea what I would do. I know I would be beyond frustrated, sad, depressed and angry and might go talk to another doctor just to see what someone else has to say.
What I do no is that you have been amazing. Sure you have had your moments, but overall I can't believe how well you have handled all of this. You have done what you can, you have kept a good attitude, you have listened to your doctors and have been the best little injured runner ever. It will pay off and when you do get to run again (because YOU WILL!), you will most definitely be rewarded.
Plus I am sure somewhere down the road there is going to be a time when you really tough someone's life who is going through what you are now and you show you can overcome it.
Lots of love and hugs and mean yells at the leg <3 (although maybe I should be nice so it heals faster) ;)
Girl, how I feel ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm in my spanking brand new, purple trimmed Mizunos, and... and.... LOL, and nothing. I'm sending my energy in other directions, literally taking my mind off it all. I think, though, you'll heal very soon. Like, it'll be "okay, okay, okay" and then "BAM! Redhead is running!"
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