For the last two weeks I've been walking mostly limping around assessing every step I've taken and basically waiting for my legs to break off into little pieces from the mayhem of the Leg Gremlins.
If you've ever suffered from and overcame an injury I'm sure you know what I'm talking about; that feeling that looms over you the minute something doesn't feel quite right in the location you suffered a past injury. The "Ghosts of Injury Past" are too fresh in my mind to let me relax, even when I started seeing progress this week I refrained from feeling overly optimistic. Saturday morning I was a mess of emotions as I suited up for my 18 miler. My longest run in over a year. As if the distance weren't daunting enough, throw in there conditions I don't favor (Read: Rain, Rain, Rain!!!), and top it off with Leg Gremlin paranoia. Guess who peed about 30 times before she headed out?
At Spike's recommendation I revisted no-man's land wearing a hat to keep the rain out of my face (my Gasparilla hat for marathon mojo-motivation), a t-shirt under my wind breaking jacket (my Chicago shirt for marathon mojo-motivation), capri's, and some gloves because I have the hands of a corpse 24/7. It was 32*, feels like 26*, pouring rain, and 10-15 mph winds. Lovely huh?
I may have replaced my hill workout this week but I def got some in on the run.
I may have replaced my hill workout this week but I def got some in on the run.Once again I just ran whatever my legs felt comfortable with as right now my only priority is finishing my long runs in one piece. The first 6 miles were a hilly, curvy, out and back where I quickly realized I was too cold in my capri's and my gloves were soaked through so my poor hands were not long for this world if I didn't get better gloves. Added bonus, my ITB's were screaming from the pitch of the curving-hills combo as I fought the northern wind. Half-way into Mile 7 I came up on a guy walking his dog and asked to use his cell phone (I didn't bring mine because of the rain) and tried to call Spike to bring me better gloves, ibuprofen, and my calf sleeves.
No answer. Crap.
I decided to head straight for home to change it up. I bounded the stairs and quickly peed, took one ibuprofen, changed into my calf sleeves AND pants because my legs were so cold, and grabbed better gloves as fast as possible. I'm guesstimating it took about 5-6 minutes total and quickly headed back out for the remaining 9 miles in town.
Puddle-tastic.
(I went back later to snap this, pretty much captures the day/run)
(I went back later to snap this, pretty much captures the day/run)
Puddles, puddles everywhere and water logged socks/shoes were the name of the game as I made my way around. Because I took that extended break to change I made sure to take my remaining fuel while on the run so as not to waste any more time or be out there any longer than necessary. With each mile I sounded like Count Von Count as I announced aloud to no one "5, 5 more miles to go..." "4, 4 more miles to go..." You get the idea. (Clearly I was getting a little loopy.) When the final mile at long last arrived I gave it all I had left with the biggest, most sh*t-eating grin on my face ever.
Wild-eyed, ecstatic, rain-soaked Redhead
Take that Leg Gremlins! I CAN run 18 miles!!! And I did. I've been so scared the "Ghosts of Injury Past" would prevent me from ever running that far again. But I did and in the rain to boot. I killed two birds with one stone; braved the nasty elements and faced my demons. It was exactly the confidence boost I needed to let go and make myself realize I can and WILL do this again. Faith, not fear. (Right Katie?!?!)
Run & Done.
After the run I found this on the bathroom mirror when I went to peel off my rain soaked gear:
Although clearly he can't be trusted for weather appropriate run-dress advice or to be listed as an emergency contact on my Road ID at least he's my #1 supporter. <3
If you've ever been injured, how do you deal with the "Ghosts of Injury Past"? How did you deal with the emotional baggage the injury left behind? What helped you build the confidence to work past the fear of reinjury?
10 more weeks til the Cleveland Marathon!!!
49 comments:
This is a great post! I'm so glad you got that 18 in while being haunted.
I've had the same feelings as well. Every twinge, ache, makes my anxiety raise and fearful of what's next. I just try to take it one day at a time. You'll have to revisit this topic again or I'll have to talk about it once I get mileage up again. Because the half marathon mark is when shit went down hill for me last year and that's my comeback race this year. Fingers crossed!
Nice job! You really battled some ugly elements and demons out there!
Awesome job! Send those Leg Gremlins their pink slip. They are in the past. Let them stay there!
I'm so glad you got your 18 miler in the bank! I *only* had 8.27 on Saturday, but it was the farthest I've ever run without walking breaks. I thought my run was hilly, but it was NOTHING compared to yours. Holy Hills Batman!
Fingers crossed that your leg demons don't come back to haunt you.
Great job on your run! I'm proud of you too! :) Love the note from spike and am amped to see you soon :)
I've had plenty of nagging little injuries lately, though I've been able to adjust my training and continue running (so nothing too serious).
How do I keep my injuries ghosts at bay? Simple really. By being proactive. I always assess what went wrong and how I can make sure it won't happen again. I consult with a physiotherapist, my coach, my RMT and my running teammates (GO LRDC!!!)
By doing so I build confidence in my decision making, and so far, it's proven to work well. It took me nearly 10 years to figure this simple equation out, sigh...but at least I've conquered it now!
Now that's what it's all about. The grit and determination you had when mentally powering through 18 miles ALONE in COLD and RAIN. Spike is right to be proud.
You know i know the injury thing too well. I am on the upswing, but know those phantom pains will continue to revisit. I've changed my thoughts about pain now. I am not afraid to back off from it until it goes away. My ego used to not let me do that, but now I know it's the only way.
Cleveland here you come, and see you in Boston in six weeks!!
my achilles is on my mind before and during every single run. i keep wondering if i'll ever get past this injury in my head. great job on the 18!!
Congrats on slaying the ghosts. Sounds like a great run. Tough, but great.
Congrats on getting through those miles and FAST!
I find myself terrified by the ghosts of injuries past from time to time. On Saturday I went and bought a foam roller, not because I'm having real problems, but because the ITBs have been tight and I'm terrified of re-injuring myself. Maybe a little paranoid, but I, and everyone who has to live with me through my spring races, is better off safe than sorry.
Rain and cold? Props! Winter can just head on out if you ask me.
When I started training again, I felt EVERY ting in my leg where I had my stress fracture. It scared me so much to run. Eventually I switched shoes and Im about to run my 10 mile run this afternoon. Running was the only way I could actually test how stable my leg was.
Awesome job on getting through those 18 miles!!!! Making it through those tough conditions make you a stronger runner :)
WooHoo for the Cleveland Marathon, I can not wait to meet you girl!
Damn, I ran 18 miles on Sunday too but not quite in the challenging conditions as yours, plus you had to go it alone. That you got it done speaks highly of you and your strong mentality. Honestly, I'm not sure how I would have reacted to the puddlepalooza. Seems like you'd have to deal with wet feet and then wet freezing feet. Well done, Roja.
Every time I feel a twinge in either hamstring I think "NOT AGAIN."
They have been bothering me for almost 2 years. Sometimes a twinge is all that happens and all is well. Sometimes there's a full on nightmare that puts an end to training for the Grand Rapids Marathon.
Super sweet note to come home to. Awww!
I'm so proud of you too! Seriously awesome run and you are TOUGH for facing those conditions for 18 miles.. solo!
Take that leg gremlins!!!
So so so happy for you babe!! NEVER SAY NEVER!!!
WTG lady! You nailed it and you told that rain who's boss. You are on your way..... love u!
Great run!! I'm so scared that I will re-injur my knee, I watch every step I take and be very careful (not like a crazy person, though).
Wahoo! So glad you had a good run. Ghosts of old injuries are scary. I try to look at them as a reminder to be smart about training, and listen to my body. That helps me not panic (so much) when I feel a twinge.
What a fantastic 18 mile run. And in Crap weather!
Looks like you gave those Ghosts a run for their money.
hey, thanks for writing a blog post i really needed to read today, you're the best.
i'm fighting all the ghosts of injuries past right now because the last 3 times i did this, i got hurt at this exact point in my training cycle. every twitch makes me fly off the handle. i honestly think the only way to deal with it is to keep doing what i'm doing, which is ignore it and press on. race day execution is what i need, mentally, to get past this.
in other news that's NOT about me, you, my sweet friend, are amazing. way to get out there and push past so many crappy elements to kick the trash outta your long run!!! i'm proud of you too. xo.
i got chills reading this. im totally dealing with the ghosts of my injuries past right now! I definitely haven't fully figured out how to conquer them.
way to rock the 18! you are going to be so ready for Cleveland.
Congrats on the 18 girl! 10 more weeks to go! Enjoy it!
I ran up a big hill this weekend and thought "Hills are for hero's". It made me laugh. :)
Great job on the 18 miler! You are awesome.
You are just simply inspiring.
Love the Spike note.
Kick ass job! I love your post-run grin!
Great job on the 18 miler!
I have a feeling that I am going to be dealing with these injury fears in a few weeks. For some still unknown reason I have had foot pain the last two Aprils (one year right, one year left) and I am hoping to avoid it this year!
Awesome job!!
Wow - you go girl, that is one good run - especially with fear and doubt thrown in :)
I've been balancing trying to train enough, while letting injuries heal, it is hard work ... but I'm getting there - I'd love to know how to get rid of all those fears and doubts, I hate that everytime I go out and run I'm worried about what is going to hurt,especially what is going to hurt afterwards. I'm picking that it just takes time - eventually I suppose you get back in the groove and realise everything will be okay (that's what I'm hoping anyway!).
Props to you for finishing that run!! I would much prefer to run in snow than rain! I wouldn't have gone back out after the bathroom/outfit change halfway through!
So glad to hear the legs behaved themselves! Yah for the chicken cutlets!!
WOOHOO congrats on the 18 miler! Bravo on the attitude too. I 100% feel ya on the 'ghosts of injury past' thing. I'm always paranoid that my knee problems will come back... especially now that Boston is only 6 weeks out and I'm about to hit my big 17, 18, and 20 milers in the next few weeks. Gulp.
Way to go!! Braving the elements and all! I was a little afraid for my long run Saturday too. I was afraid my hip and knee would start hurting but I just enjoyed the run and actually felt great!
The note on the mirror = priceless. And I never doubted you would get it done. You rock little Red.
Great post. I too often run gun shy of another reoccurance of an injury. I now plan my next run after I complete today's run. I spend as much time stretching, foam rolling and using the stick as I do running. I walk at least 10 minutes before jogging another 5, then run. After all of this, when I do get in run with no hint of pain or discomfort-I feel like I just hit the lottery, it is so sweet!
great post, i have an ankle ghost that makes me strap myself for every run even tho it hasnt hurt in four months!
Great run! Spike is too sweet! : )
Great post! And great job! Everytime I feel a tingle in my ITB, I'm like whoooooooaaaa - slow down ... don't wanna do that again!
Way to push through on the run! I can't believe you were able to keep going after stopping home - that is hardcore. Every time I have tried that, the couch looks way too comfy to keep going.
I'm currently struggling with the ghosts. Every twinge in my toeand I am trying to determine if it is normal or not.
Saw your update on Twitter/FB. I hope everything goes well at the doctor. I'll be thinking of you!
Great run!
Great recap post!
Way to stick thru the hard stuff!!!
Great work on the 18 miles! I had a similar feeling of elation after my 15 miler yesterday since it's the longest I've gone in over a year!
YAY! I've been dealing with the same ghosts and am paranoid I won't be able to make it to May 1, but this post makes me feel a bit better!
Stay warm!!
Ok, that sticky note is super cute.
Ugh. I'm having my own leg gremlins attack again--I was doing soooo well and then right before my half a few weeks ago, they hit. Meh. I managed to run/limp through the race, but, now, everything hurts. Grrr. I just want to train for another marathon, that's all I want, but no, my body has other ideas. Boo.
That
Post-a-note
Freaking
Rocks.
It's the little things.
I
LOve
It
Yes ma'am, it IS scary coming off an injury. You're SO terrified you'll get hurt again. Or that you were never really healed. But you DID IT! In LESS THAN IDEAL conditions. Many a girl would have given up and called it off, delayed for another day. But not YOU! YOU busted out those mikes in the hilly, chilly (cold!) rain! Hardcore! So glad you're feeling strong again! Way to go sista!
I made the mistake of checking how long it took you to do your 18 miles before I went out for mine. Needless to say my "peptalk" was something along the lines of "goodness gracious.... redhead runner would be basking in her post LR post ice bath post shower happiness and you're still on mile 15.... hustle up. it's only ice!" It was a real treat. :p
Great job on the run and being a tough runner in crappy elements. And hills. Eew.
I am not your emergency contact on long run days!!!! We need to set boundaries.
Every single time my hip even remotely feels off, I freak out! it is so hard not to worry!
So proud of you for finishing strong! You showed yourself that YOU CAN DO IT (AGAIN)!!! :-)
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