I have been guilty of the injured runner's sin: Envy
Running envy, training envy, race envy... any way you wanna spin I've had a little bit of the green eye going on.
Reading race recaps, seeing tweets about training runs, watching Spike lace up to head out, I just can't stop it from happening! I try to be better than that, I try to be Susy Supporter and cheer everyone, one and all, that are training well and getting ready to rock those big races coming up. I'm sincerely excited and proud of the dedication, discipline and resolve going on out there and yet...
I've been jealous.
I can't help but think about how I should be closing in on MY big race. I want to come home sweaty and exhausted from a 20 miler and have Spike ask me how MY run went. All this "Me, Me, ME!!!" whining inevitably leads to me moping over how this time last year I was getting ready for Chicago... how six months ago I was basking in the after glow of the infamous Gasparilla PR extravaganza... And now? Now I'm reduced to spectator. Because when you can't be an athlete be an athletic supporter!
I imagine this must have been what B.o.B felt like last year when her MCM went defunct and she ended up coming to spectate me in Chicago instead. I knew it then, watching her emotionally struggle, but I understand it now: Spectating a race kinda breaks your heart.
I know I'm not alone in feeling this way; The other night at the "Injured Runner's Club" we all commiserated over this feeling. Each of our significant others are training for upcoming races while we're sidelined doing the ol' injured runner's life of "Wait, Watch and Cheer!"
Don't get me wrong, spectating is fun when you plan for it, but it's harder to put your heart in it when you're working through an injury. Because I hadn't planned to run it, spectating ya'll at Chicago will be just as fun as when I spectated the Disney Marathon back in January. When I spectated Boston I was there specifically to celebrate Spike's victory lap, not to mention it was an experience unlike any other. Spectating there inspired me to shoot for a BQ for G.R., but a mere few weeks ago at the CRIM 10 M it was a completely different scenario. As I snapped pics and yelled obnoxiously as Spike absolutely killed it, my heart was breaking just a little bit inside knowing I should be out there on the course too. If spectating a race while injured is hard, spectating a race you were supposed to run is the worst! But I'm going to work on this, starting this weekend when I ride the Capital City course with Jen. When Ms. Green starts rearing her ugly eye I'm going to remind her that running a race undertrained and risking re-injury will only land her back on the sidelines, possibly for longer than this last go round and hopefully she'll listen and turn back into to Susy Supporter.
What about you guys? Have you been guilty of the injured runner's sin? How did you deal with and overcome these feelings? (If at all) Share your tips and experiences in the comments for all the injured runner's out there working their way through...
What about you guys? Have you been guilty of the injured runner's sin? How did you deal with and overcome these feelings? (If at all) Share your tips and experiences in the comments for all the injured runner's out there working their way through...
30 comments:
That was me all summer. And I found that volunteering at a half marathon where most of my running group was participating was bittersweet. I do like cheering them on and I really enjoyed helping out, but I much prefer participating.
i have a friend on facebook who every single day posts about how freaking fantabulous their run was. normally, i just ignore it. but when i was injured, it killed me. i couldn't even stand to talk to the person. it's terrible but i just didn't want to hear about anyones wonderful run while i was feeling sorry for myself. so no, you're not alone. if anything, it taught me to be more sensitive to those who are injured and never take my running for granted.
It's ok to be a little jealous, it's part of the healing process, and it will make it so mush more fabulous when you get your turn again!
Envy will eventually lead to a smashing PR! Perhaps you need to trade your GREEN and white threads in for maize and blue....I'm just saying. Oh, my it would be so awesome if I happen to see you in the crowd at Chicago! BTW: passing through your neck of the woods today en route to visit my mom in Frankenmuth.
It's hard.
It's freaking hard to "sit on the side" when you know you can do what they do - if you had their legs or feet or ass that week.
I'm bummed for you. But you'll be back out there in no time. Cutlets work. Trust the cutlets.
Honestly, if being injured showed you how incredibly difficult it can be to BE injured...then in the end that might be your reason in the "everything happens for a reason" statement.
OMG, I pulled my adductor in the spring and though I don't have many running friends (usually a bummer, but in this case it was good), I would tear up just driving past someone running down the street, or seeing a running group at Starbucks. And when my husband headed out, I literally did cry a time or two.
Be jealous of me. But also get better so you can make others jealous later. Cheers! (And thanks for cheering.)
You know I'm guilty of this when I'm injured/sick, etc. It's the worst! My husband would be all "I just rode 50 miles" and I'd be all "Suck it, I can't even walk 10 feet". Or something like that. Generally, it does not bring out my nicest side.
Let's talk about me spectating the Seattle RnR race with TONS of bloggies running it and me standing there clapping with my busted shin...a couple of weeks after I had to miss my first ever marathon. I actually cried (nobody saw me, I think). Then I got a blister from my "real" cowbell. Then...oh wait, you know what? Let's not talk about it.
YES. After my first marathon I got sidelined by a stress fracture and my roommate (who kindly did all of my runs with me for an entire training cycle-scratch that, not only did all my runs with me, but would stay in on a friday night and cook me carbs before joining me for a long run the next morning) decided to sign up for his first marathon. Watching him leave the apt was TORTURE. I hated him just a little bit even after his months of generosity. It was tough to think about going to the marathon to stand and cheer, but it ended up reminding me how much I wanted to be running 26.2 and how willing I was to do ANYTHING to get back there...even if that anything meant not running for days, weeks, months, whatever it took! Keep trucking girlie, you're getting there!
I have had such JEALOUSY! Remember I am married to Matt, who just bq'd for the 4th time! Every time he runs he runs well. He's got 3xs the medals I do.. I know how you feel!!!!!!!
I turn the tables on those bastard runners! I drink my beer while they're running hard and sweating. I purposely show each runner as they pass....... Of course I'm drunk at the end but who cares, I got back at them!!!
I think every runner goes through this at least once. You're not along!
I totally get that way when I can't run! it is so hard to sit and spectate when you just want to be out there too!
It's like you wrote this post TO ME. Girl, I feel ya. I'm still totally injured right now (it's been FOUR frickin' months!!!) and I'm slowly dying on the inside. Ya know when ppl write "Just ran a boring 5 miles today", all I can think is "I'd give my first born to have that feeling again!" I miss running like woah. Jealously, it happens. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Hang in there sweets! You'll be back in no time!!! *hugs*
Oh gosh, of COURSE I have been there. Spectating/supporting/cheering and all that jazz are a ton of fun, but not so much when you are FORCED into that position due to an injury. Hang in there and hopefully you will be on the other side of those barricades SOON!!!
heck to the yes! Try realizing at mile 12 of a marathon you have to walk because you've messed up your leg... yup watch everyone run by, while you hobble... almost worst than just not starting!
but i will say that it rekindles your joy of running when you do get back to it
I think it happens to everyone -- running is so personal it's hard not to, well, take it personally and be jealous of others.
It's hard. I don't think you overcome those feelings.
Great post! Just think how determined you'll be when you are able to dive into another training cycle!
not necessarily a bad thing! means you are ready and anxious to get back to the sport you love!
I was injured during before two half-marathons. The first one, I didn't even go watch (even though my running buddy was in it), because I was angry. The second one literally ran right past my house, so I had no choice. With my ankle taped, I stepped out on to the front lawn to cheer on runners. Surprisingly, I loved watching them--especially the ones that came in toward the end. They were having so much fun and were so motivated. Because I can get ultra-competitive (even though I am usually just competing against myself), I sometimes forget the joy and pride that comes with just finishing a race or achieving a goal. Watching the race was a great reminder. Hang in there!
You are definitely not alone...oh lordy lordy lord, guilty as charged. I'm an emotional basket case right now because of...you know. But I just took a sharpie to my bathroom mirror and wrote the words 'Go Susy Supporter!' I don't know how to deal with this feeling, and I guess we're not meant to. Just let it be until it's our time to get back out there and haul ass.
-Team Susy
I think that we're all like that when we are injured. I remember when I couldn't run all I saw was people running. On the sidewalks, along the trails, after the ice cream truck it was horrible! (ok, maybe that last one was me)
I say embrace it.....and then enjoy it all the more when you are back to running.
BTW, nice work getting in a nut cup AND 50s girls with boobs hanging out in one post. Very nice work indeed.
more like greedy gus in your jealous instead of susy supporter.
but i guess i'll have to get over your selfish behavior once again and stay friends. fiiiiine. i'll just make you run the pig (or something), even if we have to be in the wheelchair division. :)
Sorry I haven't been commenting much as of late. This past week at work was brutal.
I definitely can commiserate. I have had runners envy for most of the year. I wish I was training for something much bigger than a 10K right now, but really, I'm happy just to be training and running again at all!
Hope you're having a great weekend!
you crack me up!!!
i don't feel jealous, but i feel extremely guilty because i feel like i'm stealing inspiration that helps me get back to running... cause i can't pay back, in a way.
ok, i might be weird, though :)
thanks for the post, totally agree, feeling it right now at 7pm downunder as i know my running group is taking off.....good to know im not alone
Thanks - just discovered this blog & can use some support. Am recovering from knee scope/repair 10 days ago and still can't walk around the house without some discomfort. Put a post on my running club website today re: starting an injured runners blog as all I get are notices about races, training groups, etc. I "know it should get better & you'll be back in no time" yada, yada, but right now it seems like a long road back...I went thru it 20 yrs ago with my other knee & I was alot younger then. Start PT Monday so at least they will give me some real guidance. Hang in there everyone!
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