Attention Runner Ladies: There is a serious epidemic* occurring which could be personally affecting you; "Runner Boob Loss" DUN-DUN-DUN!!!
(*Please Note: This is a serious discussion. Please stifle all giggles til the end of the post...)
(*Please Note: This is a serious discussion. Please stifle all giggles til the end of the post...)
Since you began running has your cup failed to runneth over? As your training progressed did you find that your chest, or chest plate rather, resembles that of a prepubescent 12 year old boy? Have you found yourself creeping into the little girls department at Target to try on sports bras because you fail to fill a big girl bra? Do you find yourself wondering if doing the "We must, we must increase our bust" flexes could actually increase your bust? Do you experience boob envy while working out at the gym with non-runner girls? If so you are a part of what I believe to be a widespread epidemic of diminishing proportions: Runner Boob Loss.
So I pose the question... how is it that by running I have lost my boobs? Someone, anyone, PLEASE educate me as to the scientific reason why they are retreating at such an accelerated rate that I am resembling a prepubescent boy? I mean don't get me wrong, I was never particularly well endowed in the boobage department to begin with, but seriously... Where the hell did my boobs go? Can someone please explain this phenomenon to me?!?! But please, spare me the old "boobs are fat and fat is the first thing to go" because for the record, my chunky monkey @$$ has an endless supply of fat and it most certainly hasn't gone anywhere. So I beg of you, explain this to me. Explain to me how running with my LEGS (that are connected to my Chunky Monkey @$$) made my BOOBS (which are not connected to either) disappear??? I mean call me crazy but I for one would like to rock an actual cleavage that wasn't thanks in part to a Wonder Bra and/or Victoria's Dirty Little Secret. And not that I see any "action" these days, but when I do, I don't want the guy to be disappointed/shocked by the chicken cutlets/water balloons/socks/shoulder pads* that I have stuffed into my bra.
*Don't judge.
*Don't judge.
So... anyone got any answers for me? Any probing research/articles/documentaries into why my boobs ran away? Better yet does anyone else have any hilarious boobage-loss stories to make me feel better about myself? :)
30 comments:
omg you are hilarious. you know my answer to this dilemma. i really never had any to begin with so i am not missing a whole lot. but i sooooo feel your pain. i rock the hell out of those chicken cutlets.
hahaha! love it! mine are small to begin with and it seems like they shrink every summer (hm, conveniently during training!) AAGGH.
Morgan, I am laughing my ass off reading this post! I feel your pain - I really you! I've also experienced boob shrinkage. Why can't I lose fat off my stomach and butt? Like, COME ON! I mean, I don't want huge knockers bouncing around Baywatch-style while I run, but I'd at least like to be PROPORTIONATE!
You are so funny but it is sooo true! Before running, I would never lose weight in the chest department. Actually at one point, I was so small everywhere else, they thought mine were fake! What happened to those days??? Now that is the first thing that goes and I'm slowly going down bra sizes. I asked my hubby if he would still love me after I lost them completely and he said yes because he's really an a$$ guy and I know that isn't going anywhere anytime soon! :)
ahhhhh haha! OMG I know exactly what you are talking about. My boobies def. shrank a cup size, but my thighs an butt INCREASED in pants size. WTF!!!??? I mean, I was big a$$, small boobies to begin with, so now I feel so bottom heavy! WHYYYYY???
I don't know what to tell ya other than I suffer from the SAME dilemna! When I lost 20 pounds last year I also lost half a cup size. I REFUSE to admit it and buy A cup bras though, so I'm chugging along in my too-big B cup bras. *sigh*
I don't know the "scientifics" of it. Perhaps all the jiggling they do while we run makes them shrink down??
Ok here is the physiology of boob loss. For a woman biologically speaking your body has a predisposition to the midsection since thats where babies come from. You will lose fat farther away from your center of gravity first and the least "important" places. Hence boob loss. For what its worth there are guys out there who appreciate small boobs more than big boobs.
I am thrilled with my results. I had Ds and now I believe I have cute wonderful Cs. They are now somewhat perky and the right amount. I was TOO blessed before and now running has blessed me with more normal bubbies (in the Housewives of New Jersey accent)!
Obviously this does not apply to overweight men. Some days there are far too many man-boobs in the park. Far too many...
Cant have your cake and eat it too???? ;P Funny that loosing weight reduces the boobage isnt it. I never had big boobs to begin with and no matter my weight they seem the same.
I found you on SITS. I have a cute apron giveaway going at The Apron Goddesses you may like. :)
LMAO! Only you Morgan would write such a creative and funny blog about boobs! I've actually noticed that since I've stopped lifting weights and started running obsessively on top of an already obsessive surfing problem I've experienced what seems to be chest and shoulder shrinkage! So if I had boobs, I'm sure they'd be gone by now! And also, that guy in the earlier post it totally correct; lots of guys like small boobs rather than big ones!
can i get an amen? MAJOR boob shrinkage over here. Lame!
I know. I've never really had any, but now I REALLY don't have any. Know what actually kinda helped? Push ups. Increasing the muscle under there pushed 'em out a little. Just saying :)
Unfortunately, my cups runneth over, and running is never fun...I'm always afraid they'll bounce up and swat me in the face! I had an unfortunate incident at the gym I work for where my boobs let gravity pull them down, and my sports bra decided to slide up!
I'm so confused. I don't run and I've still lost mine. Darn exercise. It even ruins those of us that don't participate.
Hmmm...my sister started running after her second child and lost hers. She blamed it on the kid. I'm going to point her this way...maybe it's all those marathons she's running now.
Visiting from SITS.
I would feel awkward responding to your poll. There didn't seem to be a good option for me.
I'll just say that I'm in support of all women not losing their boobs.
I would begin by closely watching the Hamburglar. that guy has stolen countless number of meat patties and my be escalating.
It's not such a bad thing. They just get in teh way anyhow. LOL
Oh, wow, this was hysterical! Just another reason for me to not run :).
Actually, I did a marathon just over 10 years ago, so since that has been checked off my "to do" list, I'm done with running. I find other forms of exercise, like swimming or rock climbing.
You were above me on the SITS roll call. Have a great day!
Oh yeah sister, I am one of the Boobless myself. I am hoping the loss will migrate downward and eventually I will have the six-pack I so desire/deserve. Silver lining: one very flimsy sportsbra cradles the gals just-fine-thank-you! And at least they make good bras for us; 3 words: Itty Bitty Bra
I just got a new (Padded) bra from Moving Comfort that I LOVE... Makes me feel like a woman when running... Instead of a flat chested teenager.. Will be blogging about it SOON.. Atleast with this bra we can fake it and have something show up in the race photo.. LOL
I've decided that is the very first thing to go when you loose weight. In the rear and in the tummy is the absolute last place to loose it. In those spots, it holds on for dear life no matter what.
Solutions? None that I have been able to come up with other than pregnancy :P And reminding yourself that most of the other running moms out there have the same thing going on. : )
oh, and reading this is really not helping with my thoughts about getting in shape, lol!
Ha! Ha! Not only is tonight the first time I'm reading your blog (thanks so much for finding/commenting on mine!), but to then read this great convo @ boobs...priceless! I must admit, my girlie Ds haven't completely disappeared (yet - I'm hoping a bit more, please!), but they've def changed location. As an over-40runner, gravity has CLEARLY become part of the formula, and as I "grow into my running identity," my chest (a little higher than the other real estate) has become rather flat and bony. Hubby calls that area The Hills now, when we lie in bed. But still much to lose - in boobs & butt! (And yes, I've seen those man boobs around town, too, but I'm certainly not judging!)
Funny post. Unsure if losing part of a man-boob to a surgeon's knife equals sharing your pain, but it was quite painful. :)
Unfortunately, I have not lost anything cup-size wise (and I am bigger than a D). I have lost a lot of butt. Am really hoping to lose more waist.
Don't know how I missed this post before but HAHAHAHA. Yes I'm a member of this club. Running as actually added to my jlo booty!
I'm not sure if this is more "advice" or "hilarious story", but I just ordered some new sports bras in a children's size. They were some Champion girls' bras I found on amazon.
I've experienced this as well! I've only been a runner for about a year, and while I have lost weight all over, my butt hasn't seemed to budge while my breasts went all conspiracy on me and ran for the hills! I've written sappy 'I miss you letters' to the both of them, but they refuse to return. =(
Post a Comment